It's Nick's turn to reach out; he puts his hand on Rey's arm, and though he can't muster up a comforting smile for her, there is sincerity in his eyes, the kind one anyone might mistake for truly human. It's one of those things that makes Nick Nick, that gets folks to trust him despite his artificial body. He might be manufactured, but he's got more of a soul than a lot of people. It gives him empathy, allows him to truly feel.
And what he feels right then is a connection to the family he's found in Hadriel.
"I know none of it was real," he says as quiet, muted pain tugs at his features; it tightens his brow with worry, putting knots in it as well as his heart. "Not any more real than I am the original Nick Valentine. Had a bunch of memories shoved into our heads, feelings you can't tell if are yours or someone else's programming..."
His eyes lodge themselves on the table as he pauses, his nose wrinkling. It's rare that he's at a loss of words; he tries again.
"What I'm trying to say is... I know how you feel. I never had a family until this place. The only memories I had of one are Nick's, and even then, they're vague, blurry, incomplete... and not even mine anyway. Hell, if I'm being honest, it felt good to have one for a change. It felt good to have you, and be settled down... the kind of life a machine like me is never gonna have."
And while he's not proud in some ways to admit that -- to admit he liked that fantasy world the gods cooked up after all the heartache they've caused -- he isn't about to lie to Rey. If she's feeling pathetic, then he's pathetic, too.
But at least they're pathetic together. They're family, and Nick wouldn't have it any other way.
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Date: 2017-08-17 08:49 am (UTC)And what he feels right then is a connection to the family he's found in Hadriel.
"I know none of it was real," he says as quiet, muted pain tugs at his features; it tightens his brow with worry, putting knots in it as well as his heart. "Not any more real than I am the original Nick Valentine. Had a bunch of memories shoved into our heads, feelings you can't tell if are yours or someone else's programming..."
His eyes lodge themselves on the table as he pauses, his nose wrinkling. It's rare that he's at a loss of words; he tries again.
"What I'm trying to say is... I know how you feel. I never had a family until this place. The only memories I had of one are Nick's, and even then, they're vague, blurry, incomplete... and not even mine anyway. Hell, if I'm being honest, it felt good to have one for a change. It felt good to have you, and be settled down... the kind of life a machine like me is never gonna have."
And while he's not proud in some ways to admit that -- to admit he liked that fantasy world the gods cooked up after all the heartache they've caused -- he isn't about to lie to Rey. If she's feeling pathetic, then he's pathetic, too.
But at least they're pathetic together. They're family, and Nick wouldn't have it any other way.