Nick doesn't meet Rey's eyes, his hand tightening beneath hers; that likely tells her all she needs to know.
Undine wanted him to put her down to save Rey. She knew he'd pull the trigger, given he'd do almost anything to protect his family, just as he'd have done almost anything to save Jenny. Yet, both Undine and Jenny Lands are both dead, and there's not a damn thing he can do about it -- there wasn't then, and there isn't now. And what about that 'brother' of his, who might not have ever even existed? He'd tried to help his family, and look what happened to him.
It's harder and harder for Nick not to think of how much fault lies with him, especially when the memories are getting so muddled up in that rusty processor of his.
"The gods had some nerve," he says lowly, "making your mother my wife in that... made-up world they stuck us in." The remorse is evident in his voice, his tone graveled, somber despite the fire undercutting it. "After what happened with her when she was here... after what I had to do..."
His hand shakes, his lip quivering as he tries to steel his temper. His memories of Undine in that fake town and that perfect life are still so strong, and just similar enough to those of Jenny that they blur together. One moment, he's remembering dancing, being in love, stolen kisses by the waterfront; the next, it's a body next to the river, the corpse so stained in blood that he can hardly tell which woman is lying before him. There's anger, and loss, and a hell of a lot of emotions he can't even begin to parse.
It's all too close, and the gods had to have known that.
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Date: 2017-08-08 08:17 am (UTC)Undine wanted him to put her down to save Rey. She knew he'd pull the trigger, given he'd do almost anything to protect his family, just as he'd have done almost anything to save Jenny. Yet, both Undine and Jenny Lands are both dead, and there's not a damn thing he can do about it -- there wasn't then, and there isn't now. And what about that 'brother' of his, who might not have ever even existed? He'd tried to help his family, and look what happened to him.
It's harder and harder for Nick not to think of how much fault lies with him, especially when the memories are getting so muddled up in that rusty processor of his.
"The gods had some nerve," he says lowly, "making your mother my wife in that... made-up world they stuck us in." The remorse is evident in his voice, his tone graveled, somber despite the fire undercutting it. "After what happened with her when she was here... after what I had to do..."
His hand shakes, his lip quivering as he tries to steel his temper. His memories of Undine in that fake town and that perfect life are still so strong, and just similar enough to those of Jenny that they blur together. One moment, he's remembering dancing, being in love, stolen kisses by the waterfront; the next, it's a body next to the river, the corpse so stained in blood that he can hardly tell which woman is lying before him. There's anger, and loss, and a hell of a lot of emotions he can't even begin to parse.
It's all too close, and the gods had to have known that.