[He looks down at his bare hand, the metal skeleton a constant reminder of what he is, despite how some people may see him.]
There's potential for good there. It's not always easy to see, and you forget about it sometimes with all the hell we're put through, but it's there. The trick is seeing it in yourself, and remembering that we're often better than we think.
[Some people, anyway. The folks who don't want to be anything better -- IV, Eddie Winter -- don't try, and are better off six feet under. They don't bother to pretend they aren't monsters just under the skin. But those who do try to be better, folks like Shadow or Rey? They're worth helping; they just might not know or want to admit that they need it.]
[He's considered he might be a fool a time or two -- certainly after the mess with Eddie Winter. However, he'd rather be a fool and help those who need it than cold and calloused, unfeeling. That's one thing that separates him from the other synths, keeps him feeling just a little more human than he ever will be.]
You pick up the pieces and keep moving, little by little. Maybe start by asking yourself what it is you want to do.
Afraid of what you can do. [He looks toward the mangled corpse.] Of what might happen if you let other folks get close.
[Nick heaves a light sigh, turning his head Shadow's way.]
You know, there's another person here who feels the same way about herself.
[Not a monster, not a thing -- a person. Shadow needs to remember that's what he is, and Nick won't hear otherwise. He wouldn't normally reveal things so personal about someone else, but it might help the hedgehog to know there are kindred spirits here.]
She's got a lot she can do if she really puts her mind to it. Dangerous things, stuff that'd put some of the creatures living in the caves to shame in a heartbeat.
[Back to his metal hand his eyes go.]
But she's not a monster. She slips up sometimes, but we all do. Even me. The difference between us and folks who really have no heart is that they don't try to make things right. You said you feel disappointed and dreadful, but if you were half as bad as you seem to think you are, you wouldn't feel like that.
[A bad person wouldn't have come back to make sure he got revived, either. He'd have left the body there and never looked back, like Nick himself did with IV not too long ago. That was different, he reminds himself. He was protecting his family. She was the monster; he was just meting justice.
But if he wasn't a decent person, Nick reminds himself, he wouldn't care so much. It seems they both harbor doubts from time to time -- it's a human quality that they share, despite not being human at all.
He glances Shadow's way once more, nodding, his look sincere and his tone soft.]
[It would probably worry to Nick to know that aside from a few bouts of insomnia-fueled cleaning in the guard post, Maketh hasn't really left her room in a few days. Which is exactly why he's never going to find out.]
The bar. Meet me in an hour.
[She'd prefer the guard post, but that's still a mess.]
[And it might take him over a quarter of that hour to get there, but Nick does show up, as promised. The last month wasn't particularly kind to anyone, and he's no exception; at least most of his damage is hidden under his shirt, though it's sporting a new, faded spot from where he was bleeding coolant all over it. He'll go pick up a new one when he's got something better than a patch job holding his pipes together.
Anything else that wounded him is more emotional than physical. Seeing Maketh's mangled corpse on the floor of the Guard HQ, Henry's beside her, Shadow's absolute rage as they were faced with some duplicate of Tua... it brings back a lot of bad memories for Nick, some that aren't entirely his, and some he hopes fade eventually.
Unfortunately, some stains are just tough to wash out. His shirt isn't the only testament to that.
Nick beelines for her when he arrives, his cane thudding on the floor to announce his arrival.]
[Normally she would sit directly at the bar. It's polite. It's sociable. It gives her easy access to the alcohol.
Currently, Maketh has planted herself firmly in the corner, back to the wall and a clear line of sight through the entirety of the room. There's a mug of dark coffee sitting untouched on the table and no alcohol to speak of, though Maketh desperately wishes she could take some. Just a little. Her hands are twitching, going through phantom motions with rising urgency, and she feels twitchy and uneasy all over.
Just one drink. To steady her hands. It won't hurt. It would be socially acceptable.
Stop that. Do not indulge your weakness. An officer does not drink while on duty.
Maketh hides her trembling hands under the table and sits up as straight as she can.]
Nick.
[She's not wearing her usual uniform. The jacket had to be replaced entirely, along with most everything else. She's replaced everything as best she can, and ironed all the angles as sharp as they can get without ruining the fabric. Her hair is pulled back tight and there's a pistol holstered at her hip.
The sword, perhaps conspicuously, is gone entirely.
Henry, entirely unsubtle, had remarked that she looked awful this morning.]
[Though he offers her a smile in greeting, Nick notes the change in wardrobe, the lack of Maketh's usual sword, the nervous look in her eyes. It doesn't take a detective to know she's got a lot on her mind. She always does, and the recent events can't have helped that.
[Nick's brow knits beneath the brim of his hat. He could ask more about the Empire, about the world that made her -- and ultimately shaped the double with her face. He could inquire about what it is that drives her, and if she'd ever go to such extreme, horrific lengths if she thought the city needed order. He could ask a dozen other things... but none of them are really important right now, not anymore. The copy Maketh is out of the picture, and the real one is undeniably back. She's not the monster she believes herself to be any more than Nick is a soulless automaton.]
[She doesn't have to finish that sentence; Nick knows how highly Henry thinks of her, has seen the way they work with one another. It's like him and Rey, an understanding that runs deep, like blood -- well, maybe not blood, given what he is, but the point stands. He's not surprised Henry would still trust her after this. It wasn't her that turned on him.
The trick is getting Maketh to see that. Self-worth has always been a bit of a sore spot for Nick, too.]
I did what I had to do.
[He's told her that if she ever returned to those ways that he'd put a stop to it. The double might not have been the real Maketh, but he meant it -- he's not going to let anything destroy what they've built.]
[He's not as loud about taking charge as Maketh would like, but people trust Nick. He makes good calls, stands back long enough to see the truth of things even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it hurts.
She meets his eyes briefly.]
I'm sorry, if you had to kill it. I don't remember. I'm told most do, but it....never came to me.
I figured I shouldn't go it alone to the headquarters when that double of yours started preaching all over the network, just in case she'd set up some traps. I didn't know what I'd be up against.
[He hadn't known what Shadow would do, either. Somehow, he's not surprised the hedgehog made a similar bargain with Maketh.]
So I called him in to watch my back. He may not consider himself a part of the Guard anymore, and he may be impulsive, but he's there when you need him.
That was wise. [Maketh rubs her face unhappily. In truth, there had been traps. The Imperial standard. She'd disabled all of them. It was a damn miracle the double only managed to kill two people before--
Well.]
He--is honorable. Of a sort. I know it was not easy. For either of you .
It wasn't, but that's how it goes when you're facing down someone who looks like a friend, trying to take their place in this world.
[His brow creases, nose wrinkling he pushes a sigh through him, his eyes falling to his hands before him. This whole 'doubles' business hit a little too close to home for him on premise alone, given what he is, where he comes from, and the whole reason for his existence.]
We couldn't let her do it. Couldn't let her make a damn mockery out of you and everything you've worked for... that we've worked for.
And you've got mine, so long as you don't go off the deep end like that copy.
[He shakes his head just once, his metal hand closing in on itself. They weren't exactly copies, weren't synths; this wasn't the Institute, but folks were being manipulated just the same.]
[As much as he doesn't want to ever have to do that.]
Just try and get some rest in the meantime, and let's hope that day never comes. There's no telling what the gods will do to us next, and what we'll have to do to hold down the fort.
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no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 07:08 am (UTC)[He looks down at his bare hand, the metal skeleton a constant reminder of what he is, despite how some people may see him.]
There's potential for good there. It's not always easy to see, and you forget about it sometimes with all the hell we're put through, but it's there. The trick is seeing it in yourself, and remembering that we're often better than we think.
[Some people, anyway. The folks who don't want to be anything better -- IV, Eddie Winter -- don't try, and are better off six feet under. They don't bother to pretend they aren't monsters just under the skin. But those who do try to be better, folks like Shadow or Rey? They're worth helping; they just might not know or want to admit that they need it.]
no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 10:58 pm (UTC)You pick up the pieces and keep moving, little by little. Maybe start by asking yourself what it is you want to do.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 11:25 pm (UTC)[He has a feeling what it is, but sometimes, it helps to talk it out.]
no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 11:53 pm (UTC)[Nick heaves a light sigh, turning his head Shadow's way.]
You know, there's another person here who feels the same way about herself.
[Not a monster, not a thing -- a person. Shadow needs to remember that's what he is, and Nick won't hear otherwise. He wouldn't normally reveal things so personal about someone else, but it might help the hedgehog to know there are kindred spirits here.]
She's got a lot she can do if she really puts her mind to it. Dangerous things, stuff that'd put some of the creatures living in the caves to shame in a heartbeat.
[Back to his metal hand his eyes go.]
But she's not a monster. She slips up sometimes, but we all do. Even me. The difference between us and folks who really have no heart is that they don't try to make things right. You said you feel disappointed and dreadful, but if you were half as bad as you seem to think you are, you wouldn't feel like that.
Sorry for the delay!
Date: 2016-12-18 09:25 am (UTC)But if he wasn't a decent person, Nick reminds himself, he wouldn't care so much. It seems they both harbor doubts from time to time -- it's a human quality that they share, despite not being human at all.
He glances Shadow's way once more, nodding, his look sincere and his tone soft.]
Sure. Anything you need.
[Text]
Date: 2017-01-31 03:01 am (UTC)[It's overdue. Too many things have been left to fester unsaid.]
[text]
Date: 2017-01-31 03:03 am (UTC)[He's been worried about her ever since the mess with Sato, and things have just gone downhill from there.]
Any place in particular?
[He suspects the bar has been on her list of haunts recently.]
[text]
Date: 2017-01-31 03:13 am (UTC)The bar. Meet me in an hour.
[She'd prefer the guard post, but that's still a mess.]
[text] → [action]
Date: 2017-01-31 03:26 am (UTC)I'll be there.
[And it might take him over a quarter of that hour to get there, but Nick does show up, as promised. The last month wasn't particularly kind to anyone, and he's no exception; at least most of his damage is hidden under his shirt, though it's sporting a new, faded spot from where he was bleeding coolant all over it. He'll go pick up a new one when he's got something better than a patch job holding his pipes together.
Anything else that wounded him is more emotional than physical. Seeing Maketh's mangled corpse on the floor of the Guard HQ, Henry's beside her, Shadow's absolute rage as they were faced with some duplicate of Tua... it brings back a lot of bad memories for Nick, some that aren't entirely his, and some he hopes fade eventually.
Unfortunately, some stains are just tough to wash out. His shirt isn't the only testament to that.
Nick beelines for her when he arrives, his cane thudding on the floor to announce his arrival.]
Maketh.
[perma-action]
Date: 2017-01-31 03:38 am (UTC)Currently, Maketh has planted herself firmly in the corner, back to the wall and a clear line of sight through the entirety of the room. There's a mug of dark coffee sitting untouched on the table and no alcohol to speak of, though Maketh desperately wishes she could take some. Just a little. Her hands are twitching, going through phantom motions with rising urgency, and she feels twitchy and uneasy all over.
Just one drink. To steady her hands. It won't hurt. It would be socially acceptable.
Stop that. Do not indulge your weakness. An officer does not drink while on duty.
Maketh hides her trembling hands under the table and sits up as straight as she can.]
Nick.
[She's not wearing her usual uniform. The jacket had to be replaced entirely, along with most everything else. She's replaced everything as best she can, and ironed all the angles as sharp as they can get without ruining the fabric. Her hair is pulled back tight and there's a pistol holstered at her hip.
The sword, perhaps conspicuously, is gone entirely.
Henry, entirely unsubtle, had remarked that she looked awful this morning.]
I'm glad you came.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 03:43 am (UTC)He slides into the seat across from her.]
How're you holding up?
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 03:59 am (UTC)As well as can be expected.
[She doesn't really want to discuss that.]
If...if you have questions, I would prefer you ask them now.
[Best to get it over with. Bare the wound and be done with it. She owes Nick the truth.]
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:06 am (UTC)I suppose she caught you and Henry off-guard.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:13 am (UTC)I reacted too slowly. It took my phone.
[Maketh rubs her face with a sigh.]
Henry trusts me. Even after this, he still...
[She needs that, desperately, but can't deny that it got Henry killed. Her brother, dead on the ground because he'd trusted in her.]
You took command. You--performed admirably.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:19 am (UTC)The trick is getting Maketh to see that. Self-worth has always been a bit of a sore spot for Nick, too.]
I did what I had to do.
[He's told her that if she ever returned to those ways that he'd put a stop to it. The double might not have been the real Maketh, but he meant it -- he's not going to let anything destroy what they've built.]
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:24 am (UTC)[He's not as loud about taking charge as Maketh would like, but people trust Nick. He makes good calls, stands back long enough to see the truth of things even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it hurts.
She meets his eyes briefly.]
I'm sorry, if you had to kill it. I don't remember. I'm told most do, but it....never came to me.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:28 am (UTC)I was going to, but Shadow got to her first.
[Yes, Shadow. The Shadow that isn't working with the Guard.]
He didn't take seeing you two on the ground well at all.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 04:18 pm (UTC)[She shouldn't laugh. She really shouldn't. Maketh covers her mouth with her hand, shaking her head.]
I'm sorry. I didn't--we had a conversation once. About what he would do if I---became what I'd been. I see he kept his promise.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-02 12:50 am (UTC)[He hadn't known what Shadow would do, either. Somehow, he's not surprised the hedgehog made a similar bargain with Maketh.]
So I called him in to watch my back. He may not consider himself a part of the Guard anymore, and he may be impulsive, but he's there when you need him.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-02 03:30 pm (UTC)Well.]
He--is honorable. Of a sort. I know it was not easy. For either of you .
no subject
Date: 2017-02-03 09:27 am (UTC)[His brow creases, nose wrinkling he pushes a sigh through him, his eyes falling to his hands before him. This whole 'doubles' business hit a little too close to home for him on premise alone, given what he is, where he comes from, and the whole reason for his existence.]
We couldn't let her do it. Couldn't let her make a damn mockery out of you and everything you've worked for... that we've worked for.
[Because after all, she's not alone in this.]
no subject
Date: 2017-02-03 10:30 pm (UTC)[Maketh pauses.]
You have my trust, Nick. Always.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-06 09:50 am (UTC)And you've got mine, so long as you don't go off the deep end like that copy.
[He shakes his head just once, his metal hand closing in on itself. They weren't exactly copies, weren't synths; this wasn't the Institute, but folks were being manipulated just the same.]
no subject
Date: 2017-02-06 09:04 pm (UTC)I trust you will do what must be done, in that case.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-07 03:24 am (UTC)[As much as he doesn't want to ever have to do that.]
Just try and get some rest in the meantime, and let's hope that day never comes. There's no telling what the gods will do to us next, and what we'll have to do to hold down the fort.